Oblivion
by DaggersBloodPain
Summary: series of final battle OneShots. new stories added as i write all posted are complete. Harry will win, lose, draw, or refuse to fight, each one has different twists and endings just remember nothing is as it seems in my realm. I hope you enjoy!
1. Nothing Left but The End

Nothing left but the end.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything no copyright infringement was intended this all belongs to the creator J.K Rowling who I thank everyday for her allowing us to play with her characters.

A/N this was written in a moment of depression. I have been really down lately and needed to express it somehow. So the following fic will probably be depressing and angsty dealing with death and loss.

Please review if you can I know this is sad but I personally think this is the best writing I have ever done, that happens when I let my emotions do the writing.

The End

The end pure and simple nothing more but the endless night that is eternal slumber. I have one last task before I leave to tell my story of the last days of my life and the fallout of my death. Who am I you ask, I have gone by many names, Hero, Villain, Freak, Savior, evil, Dark, Light, Boy-who-lived, insane, and many others, but the one name I never heard was me. Just plain me, Harry James Potter. I have saved a world and paid the ultimate price. This is the story of how I did it, and what I left behind. We will begin now and go quickly so I can get to the peace my immortal soul so craves.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX 3 days before my mortal death XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The war had been long and hard. His body carried scars upon scars, too many for one so young. This was Harry James Potter barely twenty years old yet had been the hope of the light side since he was just an infant. In the last three years his best friends and him had been fighting and training hard. They had seeked out and destroyed five out of the seven horcruxs the only two remained, Voldemort's current body. The seventh and final horcrux was only known to two people on the planet. The one destined to die and the one foreordained to kill him.

Harry was busy now running as many laps as his bulging muscles would allow trying to keep himself from dwelling on what he had lost. As what always happened now that was not possible. Names and faces of the deceased ran through his head.

Neville Longbottom had fallen defending his grandmother from a large contingent of Death Eaters. Draco Malfoy had been killed by his own father for deifying the Dark Lord. The Weasley family was hit hard, only Ginny, Ron, and Molly survived. The others fell in battle all except for George who when he heard about his beloved twin's death used a knife to follow him into oblivion. Hermione's parents were killed along with an eight year old younger brother. Hermione survived but she was still numb with the shock of the loss. His mentor Albus Dumbledore went down with fame and glory. It took over forty death eaters to take him out and only ten survived the encounter. Severus Snape was loyal to the end and fell defending the aged wizard.

There was more so many more Harry's heart ached when he thought of it. Over 75 of the children who attended Hogwarts had either been killed or lost someone close to them. Half the staff was gone only Flitwick and McGonagall survived from Harry's first year.

Out of those that hadn't died only very few would even speak to Harry. You see in his training Harry had reluctantly delved into the Grey and Dark arts. He was going to fight fire with fire and in doing so alienated himself from the everyday wizarding population.

The remaining Weasleys and Hermione had turned on him when he ha failed to save their families. They conveniently over looked that Harry had tried and it took a team of healers from St.Mungos to save him after both battles. Harry was carrying around more then physical scars the mental wounds wound deeper within his conscience.

He knew what he was going to have to do the next time he faced Voldemort. To say he was nervous would be an understatement he was terrified, but he at least took comfort that if his plan worked and he succeeded then no one would miss him. He finally finished his run after a good ten miles. He returned to his chambers and showered and changed before heading to his War Room.

This was the place he met with the last few people the remained loyal to him. There was Alastor, Mad-Eye, Moody, Nymphadora Tonks, and Amelia Bones. All high ranking aurors and Harry knew it was these three amazing people that had kept him alive for so long. These were also the ones that were helping to orchestrate the final battle plan. Although even they were unaware of the last step Harry must take before Voldemort would be destroyed forever.

It was in that meeting that Harry learned his fate was sealed. After years of searching they had finally found Voldemort's hide out. They would attack in three days. That battle would hopefully be the last.

They spent that last days before the battle training and learning. Harry composed letters the contents of which he refused to let anyone see. He wouldn't even tell them who he was writing to.

Harry fell into bed the night before the final battle tired, sore, but ready for anything. He was prepared and knew what he had to do. His only wish was that the others would move on and live the life he never had the chance to lead.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX the day of Judgment XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

It had been a hard battle there was many losses on both sides. The stench of burning human flesh and other ungodly smells permeated the air. All the soldiers were covered in blood sweat and grit. Many just wanted to give up and go home to lick their wounds in peace. Unfortunately there would be no rest for the weary.

At least not until a meeting took place. This meeting had been in the makings since someone beyond the stars sent a prophecy down to a hopeful Divination teacher in a dingy pub in the small wizarding village of Hogsmeade. That prophecy had ruled the fate of two men for the better part of two decades and it was finally coming to fruitation.

Finally Harry had a clear picture of his enemy Lord Voldemort, and Voldemort saw him. Even now after everything that vile creature had put him through Harry still had a small seed of compassion in his heart for the used to be human in front of him. What he saw was not the evil twisted creature that stood before him today. No what harry saw was a handsome youth who used to be the Headboy at Hogwarts. Who through circumstance and abuse plus a healthy dose of neglect had mutated to this pitiable creature in front of him.

In other words he saw himself if he had let his own past rule him. It was a credit to the human spirit that he was still sane and fully capable of feeling pity or compassion. In a way he was using his upbringing to help him. It made what he was about to do a lot easier.

In fact if he didn't start his plan now it wouldn't work. So he quickly withdrew a vial of pure black liquid and gulped it down. He shook off the feeling of ice sliding threw his veins and concentrated on his opponent.

Voldemort had already advanced on him, so he threw a curse. It was a fairly low level Impedimenta hex. Voldemort easily blocked it and answered with Cruciatus. Harry took the unblockable curse without pausing. He had taken a lot of time over the past few years to build up a tolerance to the Cruciatus.

He used Voldemort's moment of inattention to send a slashing hex his way. Voldemort leaped to the side and sent a burning hex chasing after Harry. Who just used a fairly strong Shielding Charm to block it. Harry knew by now that he was strong enough to take down Voldemort but if he did it too soon Voldemort could come back. He had to wait untill just the right moment or all their efforts would be in vein.

So all he was left to do was keep Voldemort occupied untill that right moment. Even now he could feel stiffness in his joints the first sign of his plan.

Harry and Voldemort continued to trade curses and hexes. Harry slowly moved out of the low level stuff and into the powerful Dark Arts. He matched Voldemort curse for curse using some that astonished everyone including the Dark Lord.

Soon though he knew he was running low on magical strength, his plan was working he could feel it with every passing second. Knowing this he used every ounce of magical energy left to throw another spell. Nothing major no Dark Arts nothing especially Dark or powerful or anything like that. No the spell he chose was actually a simple Expelliarmus hex.

That simple spell with all that power behind it blasted through Voldemort's shield and Lord Voldemort for the first time since he regained a body found himself without a wand. Acting on his last line of defense he brought out a sword, and not just any sword this was Slytherin's sword forged out of silver with emeralds encrusted on the hilt. Voldemort and Harry not only had brother wands, Harry just happened to be carrying the brother to Voldemort's sword. Harry had brought with him through every battle and skirmish the ruby encrusted golden sword of Gryffindor.

Then the two brother swords came together with a bell like note for the first time in over a thousand years. Slytherin and Gryffindor were back and just like the first time they thirsted for the blood of the other.

Anyone not occupied with fighting and watching the battle almost thought their eyes were playing tricks on them. In the place of one maniacal Dark Lord and one famous boy stood two figures out of history. Slytherin battled with cunning and tricks while Gryffindor fought with bold moves and advanced skill.

They fought on and on, thrust parry strike block. The continuation of a battle that should have been ended long ago was now taking place. Two titans of power marked as equals neither truly living while the other drew breath. The entire cosmos waited breathless for even they could not foresee the outcome of this epic battle. The future was cloudy and misted for both the figures.

All movement on the battle field stopped to watch the dance of death playing out in their midst. Not a sound was made neither by voice or movement. It was utter silence except for the steady sound of metal on metal and the harsh breathing of the two combatants.

Finally Harry felt himself growing colder and his reactions slowing down. The time had come for him to implement his final plan. He knew he didn't have ten minutes before it would be too late.

He dredged up his last bit of energy from a reserve he did not know he possessed. He fought back harder and faster then he had before not fighting for himself but for the rest of his world. Voldemort fought back just as hard but Harry could tell he was wearing down as well.

He just kept fighting until Voldemort made a mistake he left a hole in his defenses a fraction of an inch too large and Harry slide his blade home.

Voldemort just looked down at the solid two feet of cold metal sticking out of his chest. A fountain of blood was spilling out with every beat of his monstrous heart. Bloody froth spilled from his nose and mouth as Harry observed with shock. Voldemort's eyes changed from violent crimson to deep blue. His features melted from their serpentile look back to his handsome features of youth. Finally the now blue eyes got a look of peace and he slowly fell to the ground and drew his last breath.

Harry with his last iota of strength sunk to his knees. He reached over the remains of his vanquished enemy and softly closed the staring eyes. He whispered something even those closest to him couldn't hear. "Rest in peace Tom Marvolo Riddle, the Flight of Death. May your soul find the peace your mortal body could not." Then with that last sentiment Harry's strength gave out and he slumped down next to his mortal enemy the one he had been destined to kill.

Harry James Potter then died with a smile on his face.

There was a major uproar, both Light and Dark wizards rushed to the side of their respective leaders. There was nothing either side could do both Voldemort and Harry were gone never to come back to the mortal realm. It was one of the light supporters that found the vial Harry had drank out of before the battle. He recognized the residue to come from a potion called the Draught of Eternal Sleep.

It was a very slow acting poison. It was designed to give and easy and pain free death to terminally ill patients. In this case it allowed Harry to kill both Voldemort and the final Horcrux at the same time. It was only then the wizarding world figured out what a wrong they had committed against their savior.

XXXX about a week after the death of Harry James Potter and Tom Marvolo Riddle XXXX

Five letters magically appeared in for of seven very startled people. Harry's three teachers immediately knew who theirs was from the others were in for a big surprise. They were mostly the same with a few alterations depending on their recipient.

To my Loving teachers, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Molly

I am writing this letter to you to tell you some truths. First of all I don't want anyone blaming my death on anyone other then myself. I have known for a long time now that I was going to have to die to end this. I am just sorry it could not be in time to save your families. I found a potion that would let me have just enough time to kill Voldemort before I would die myself. I had to do this because I am the final horcrux if I live Voldemort could come back through me.

To Molly and the remaining Weasleys I left you everything I own in Grinngotts. While it will not make up for the loss of your family I want no others to have it. You were the first and only family I will ever think of like a family other then my own parents. To you all I will miss you always and hope you will be able to rebuild your lives after everything.

Hermione you will have control over my properties. You are an amazing witch and one of the best friends I will ever have. Even though things have been rough I think of you like a sister and always will. In many of my manors are fully stocked libraries. Never let anyone bring you down over your intelligence. If it weren't for you I would not have been able to stay alive long enough to kill Voldemort.

Take care all of you and remember I will always be watching over you.

Even if you have stopped loving me. You have my loyalty and my love for all eternity even through death and beyond.

Harry James Potter.

XXXXXXX Some indefinable time XXXXXXXXXXXX

A beautiful young women with bushy red hair and chocolate brown eyes was carrying a bouquet of snow white lilies threw the silent grave yard. It was an early misty morning. It was the anniversary of the final battle, and all of this woman's life had been spent hearing stories about Harry Potter from her parents. This young woman was Harmony Grace Granger-Weasley.

She was walking in the small cemetery in Godric's Hollow to the three graves in the back. There were two heads stones, one that was large and signified the burial of a married couple. That was the grave of Harry Potters parents James and Lily Potter. Harmony stopped and put half the Lilies onto that grave and hung her head for a few seconds in a gesture of respect.

She got up and moved to the next grave over the one she had come to see. It was a beautiful black granite stones with writing chiseled deep into the stone and inlaid with silver.

There was a small but simple epitaph written below the dates.

"_Here lies Harry James potter the savior of us all. Rest in peace to the Boy- Who-Never-Truly-Got-To-Live."_

Harmony slowly spread the rest of the lilies onto the grave and whispered to the stone like Harry could hear her. "Mom and Dad never forgot you. You were wrong they never stopped loving you and you will never be forgotten."

She stayed for awhile longer then rose. She sniffed a bit to keep her emotions in check then walked slowly and respectfully back out of the cemetery. Although she did pause when she saw another stone she recognized. The inscription on it rose.

"_Here lies Tom Marvolo Riddle. The one the world forgot beneath the Flight of Death."_

She spared a few moments of understanding near that headstone then finished leaving the hallowed ground. Once she was a respectful distance away the silence of the morning was shattered with the crack of apparition. The same thing would happen every year on that date and the tradition would be passed through the generations no one would ever forget, either Harry James Potter or Tom Marvolo Riddle for as long as the wizarding world stood strong.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXthe End or perhaps the beginningXXXXXXXXXXX

Well that is my story. Now you know how I saved a world and died all in the same day. I will never forget my lessons on earth but it is time for me to move on. I have been awake long enough, and to quote my old mentor "Death is but the next great adventure." So long and never forget the lessons my story has to tell.

With that the sprit of a boy with killing curse green eyes and hair as black as the raven's wing faded out of the mortal plan, and began its advancement into the afterlife.

H was greeted their by several other spirits. For the first time in decades he got to hug his parents, slap his godfather on the back, bow to his mentor, and shake hands with all those that past before him just to be certain he would live to complete his task.

The strangest meeting he would have would be with the spirit of a handsome man with piercing blue eyes who had something very simple to say that would carry with Harry for the rest of eternity. "Thank you Harry James Potter for releasing me from my pain. I am now free and I have you to thank for that."

It was indeed true a young man had managed it all. He not only saved a world but two troubled souls. That of Tom Marvolo Riddle and lastly and possibly most important his own Harry James Potter.

Rest In Peace for you indeed saved us all.


	2. You Have Failed

A/N here is the second part in the series. I have often asked myself why no one writes a story were Harry loses. Well I decided to write it. Warning character torture and death, nothing graphic this one might only warrant a T rating.

**You Have Failed!**

Three words, just three simple yet utterly damning words. These three words shaped my existence and continue to torture me when I am supposedly in oblivion. Pain beyond measure. No relief nothing to stop the torture. Why should three little words cost all this suffering? To some one else anyone else it wouldn't but no. I am Harry James Potter the boy-who-bloody-wouldn't-die.

My failure caused death and pain to rein on the magical world. It was my destiny prophesized from birth. If I couldn't stop Lord Voldemort then no one could.

Turns out I couldn't. I was trained to fight from the moment I was told of the prophecy. They stressed my body tore at my mind in the vague hope I could save them. To bad all their effort was in vain.

At the end of my sixth year at Hogwarts I faced off against my nemesis. We fought long and hard, until my body could not take any more. They had placed too much stress on a still developing body. They had me fighting a war no child belonged in.

My magic couldn't cope anymore with the stress. I collapsed letting the Dark Lord capture me. He tied me up and forced several potions down my throat. What they were I still have no idea.

The dark lord kept me at his manor for a week. Torturing my body. He healed me at the end of each session just enough for me to keep living. Then the torture would continue the day after.

They used whips and knives curses and fists. Nothing was off limits as long as it caused suffering, pain, and blood. Oh Voldemort revealed in the blood. If I didn't know better I would say that man was half vampire instead of half muggle. But alas that would only be insulting the vampires. They never killed if they could help it and only hunted enough to survive.

The amount of blood Voldemort pulled from me each day would have kept a fledgling vampire feed for a month. He collected the blood and ran experiments. He was stealing my power bit by bit and adding it to his own.

Some of the experiments were force fed too me and it caused my blood to boil and sear. It altered me into some inhuman looking blob.

I was kept in shackles no food and just enough water to survive. It was a miserable existence. The pain wasn't the worst part over the years I had learned to deal with pain. What was worse was the daily updates the dark lord would bring. He would give me the body count off those he killed. If he happened to kill one of my old friends he lorded it over me for days.

On the Seventh day of my imprisonment Voldemort took the last of my magic. With nothing more to feed the potions they wouldn't heal me anymore. Voldemort let his death eaters have one last shot at me. Those few hours were the darkest and most painful hours of my life.

Finally when I was taking my dieing breath Voldemort leaned down and whispered three words to me. "You have failed."

That was the sentiment that brought me into this hell. The prophecy said neither can live while the other survives. Well apparently nether can die. I just stay here in limbo watching as everyone that was important to me dies. They were tortured to death or just killed in cold blood. Not a single person was spared who showed me any form of love.

I had to watch helplessly as all these things occurred. Waiting for the one who put me here to join me. Only then will I move on to heaven or hell. Untill then I wait here watching and feeling pain with three words echoing in my head.

You Have Failed


	3. Vanquished

**A/N** alright I have been sick for awhile and during that time I reread the harry potter books and something caught my eye at the end of the fifth book. The exact wording of the prophecy says Vanquish not kill, it also says that either the dark lord or the prophecy child must die. It never says anything that Tom Riddle or Harry Potter will die. This is my take on an alternative view of the prophecy. What if the power Harry possesses isn't Love but the ability to forgive?

Vanquish 1 to defeat in battle, to defeat an opponent or opposing army in a battle or fight 2. To prove convincingly superior to somebody in a contest, competition, or argument 3. To overcome suppress or subdue an emotion feeling or idea.

**Vanquished**

_The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches. Born to those who have thrice defied him, Born as the seventh month dies. And the dark lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not. And either must die at the hands of the other for neither can live while the other survives. The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies. _

"Those are a bunch of fancy words aren't they? Just an incoherent mangled rhyme. Too bad that mangled mess of human speech has governed my life from the moment I was born. Who am I you ask? I am Harry James Potter the chosen one of the prophecy. I was cursed with both a scar and a destiny. Forced to carry a burden no child should ever have to know.

My family was taken from me before I was old enough to talk. The one responsible tried to kill me as well and failed. He burdened me with this scar on my forehead and the prophecy hanging over my head. Dumbledore however well he did the next condemning. He left me with my Muggle relatives. While he might have had my best interest at heart he should have looked closer.

I was never physically abused beyond a slap or a kick now and then but the neglect ran deep. I slept in a cupboard, got one meal a day, and was worked harder then a house elf. I was never shown love or compassion, I came dangerously close to just shutting down entirely.

Then my first Hogwarts letter and I thought I would be away from the constant harassment. I was soon to discover that I was never just Harry I was the boy who lived. In the wizarding world I was just a different kind of freak.

I had a few friends but no one I could trust with my hopes, my dreams, and my fears. Everyone in Gryffindor expected me to be the brave lion and save them all. They didn't want to hear about their savior being afraid of the dark or small spaces. I still wonder to this day what would have happen to me if I had let the hat put me in Slytherin.

I still get to laughing about the time Dumbledore told me that the power I had over the Dark Lord was love. Well even the headmaster doesn't know everything. I can't love. I was never shown it as a child and I just kind of hardened myself against it. No I can't love nor can I forget. My one power the thing that truly keeps me human is my ability to forgive. I can forgive a person just about any transgression. I won't forget it happened but I will never hold it against you once you have come clean.

After I had calmed down from the high emotions of that night. I looked at the prophecy again and caught what Dumbledore had missed. The prophecy said vanquish not kill. It didn't say we had to die it just said no one else could kill us. Tom riddle and Harry potter could survive. The Dark Lord and the Chosen One could not. One of us would be vanquished alright but that didn't mean we had to leave this earth.

Suddenly a lot of things began to make sense. For years the dark lord had been trying to get me to join with him. Why would he do that instead of just settling for killing me if there wasn't another option? Voldemort had known all along we didn't have to die. He was working as hard as he could to make sure it was the Chosen One who was vanquished.

Well two can play that game. I began to work towards the goal of killing Voldemort and bringing back Tom Riddle. It all came down to one thing I had to be able to give forgiveness and he had to be able to take it. Voldemort had to truly wish for forgiveness for my plan to work.

My plan was deadly simple challenge Voldemort to a duel and put fear back into him. Once that happens I am going to use Legilimency to force myself into Voldemort's mind. My goal was to remind Voldemort what the world had to offer the way it was. If all went well forgiveness would be exchanged and one or both of us would be vanquished forever.

My plan would never work if I couldn't get Voldemort to fear something. As I grew stronger in physical and magical strength I researched the boy Tom Riddle who became Voldemort. The more I understood about the change over the better chance I would have of finding out what Voldemort feared.

It took me three years to become fully prepared. I was strong enough to take on a squadron of aurors without breaking a sweat and I knew what Voldemort feared. It was so simple yet so unexpected most people would have never found it. In fact I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for my own upbringing. Putting that together with what I learned about Tom Riddle I found the answer. Voldemort was actually afraid of abandonment. His greatest fear was being alone.

He wanted to control the wizarding world so he would always have people around him who answered to him. He hated muggles because in his warped perception it was his father's abandonment of his mother and him that ultimately led to her death and his placement at the orphanage. The orphanage where they beat him and neglected him. He learned how to fight to survive and when he went to Hogwarts he turned that survival instinct into something he could use to wipe out his perceived source of pain. In both of our cases the source of pain came from Muggles. It was how we dealt with our individual feelings that made the difference. I forgave the muggles for their behavior out of fear and ignorance. Voldemort let his pain fester and grew into a morbidly corrupted sore spot that he spent decades searching out a cure for.

Hopefully I can give him that cure. We both needed the peace forgiveness would give. In giving my forgiveness to him I prove I am stronger then my upbringing and by accepting it he would prove even the darkest of souls can change.

I could feel our meeting drawing near just the same as he could. We both knew this would be the final confrontation how I would end would come down to a single choice. A choice that would shape history into something totally different no matter which way the decision went. Just the fact that there would be a choice was amazing.

Harry slowly prepared for battle. He knew there would be fighting and death on this day he just hoped it could be kept to a minimum. He just needed to get to the Dark Lord and then the rest would be up to destiny. Creeping out of my home I went off in search of my quarry. Completely alone no armies no fanfare just a dark cloak and concealing shadows. I kept my hand on the comforting weight of the sword strapped to my belt. Getting past Hogwarts wards I apparated. I didn't have a set coordinate instead I let the connection my scar gave me to Voldemort to take me to him.

I landed in a room with sword drawn realizing I had managed to catch the Dark Lord alone. Perfect. Voldemort pulled out his wand brother to my own. He was about to cast a spell when he remembered that bit of information and began to wandlessly duel with me. I put away my sword and retaliated with my own wandless magic.

We dueled silently I guess fate was weighing heavily on us. It just didn't seem right for either one of us to break the silence to exchange petty insults when we were fighting for survival. I hadn't been in hard training for years to back down easily. Voldemort had spent too many years having his minions do all the hard work that he might be powerful he tired quickly.

I felt his fear rising, the situation had played into my hands nicely. He had been caught alone his biggest fear. He still fought just as strongly but I wasn't feeling for physical weakness I knew we were on equal footing there. No I was watching his mind. With every minute we dueled and no one came to his aide the walls in his mind began to weaken.

Every second was nerve wracking as I kept fighting the longer I fought the more difficult it was to concentrate. I was putting too much into my search of his barriers that I moved too slowly to dodge a spell. He managed to bind me up and I fell heavily to my knees. He had his hand poised above my head to say a curse that would end my life when it happened.

In his one moment of total elation I broke through his mind shield and began the second phase of my attack. I showed him scenes of the world today as I had watched. I showed him what true companions and friends were. I showed him scenes of bravery and loyalty you cannot hope to gain through fear and pain like Voldemort had attempted.

After ten minutes of this I felt my bindings loosen just a fraction, but it was enough for me to wriggle loose. I stood and offered my hand and spoke my first words to him other then insults and spells. "I forgive you Tom riddle. It is now up to you. Do you forgive yourself?" I asked simply ready to face the fact I could be wrong and these would be my last words.

The next few minutes stretched into an eternity. I thought I would go insane with the weight when the choice was made. My opposite in every way, reached out and took my hand. When I gathered enough courage to look up I saw the first signs of a new era. Tom Riddle's eyes once angry crimson had become deep midnight blue.

We are now both on the run. He did kill dozens of people and I am wanted for helping him. There is no romance in our relationship I am showing him how to live again with a true companion. Not the sniveling death eaters that either feared him or envied him.

I just can't seem to bring myself to care what the rest of the world thinks. I have achieved my goals and if anyone in the future ever bothers to ask what happened to Voldemort I will tell the truth. Lord Voldemort the flight of death has been completely and utterly vanquished."

A/N ok this story was written under the effects of chocolate, anger, hard rock and metal music, anger, caffeine, anger and did I mention anger. I was in one of my bad moods again so I decided to write rather then my usual methods of release. Please review and tell me how this turned out my writing style changes when I am under the influence of different emotions.


	4. Because No One Else should

Because No One Else Should

Summary: Harry Potter savior of the wizarding world has finally defeated the evil Voldemort. He has lost everything including his will to live. Only a few hastily written words on a steadily yellowing piece of paper kept him alive. Written as a journal entry for the most part.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry or his world, they all belong to J. K. Rowling and the virtual army of people who helped her creations come into print and screen.

Rating: This is rated T for suicidal thoughts and general angst.

A/N Ok, this is the first update I have managed for this story since my decent into delirium. I don't know if that means my writing will be better or worse I just know it might not be the same.

Oh on a second slightly more personal note the poems found in this one-shot are all originals written by me during my dark times. (if anyone ever wishes to use the poems they find in my stories please ask me first. They are very personal to me I will probably let you use them but I just want to know the author they are going to so I don't run across them unexpectedly. They are from a very hard patch in my life and I never want to go back there again.)

So here we go I hope you enjoy this little story of mine.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Isn't it funny how the simplest things in life are the ones that can hurt us the most, or in my case save us? It happened to me that way; there was a time in my life where I wanted it all to end to just stop living, to me it would have been a blessing. The reason I am still here and able to write this all down for you? Simple my savior came in the form of ink and paper.

I must admit a few years ago if you had told me I would find release in doing the very hermionish thing called writing then I would have sent you off to Saint Mungos with a request for a soft bed in a room with padded walls. After all every one knew as the Gryffindor Golden Boy my only interests were Quidditch and getting out of homework.

Things have changed since then I must say. I think it goes beyond saying that something drastic must have happened for me to be driven to near suicide. Well there is a response to that, I fulfilled my destiny, woo hoo whoever knew offing a Dark Lord would change so much.

At first everything was right in the world. Of course the stares and whispers in the Hogwarts corridors continued on in the same manner as they had done in past years. I had long sense grown used to the low droning sound surrounding me. .

I always hated that sound, well I did hate it until it went away. One of those funny coincidences, I didn't know what I had until it was gone. With that sound droning in my ear I had a constant reminder of the people that needed my help to survive. When it slowly died down and I was no longer needed, the sound stopped, and with it my will to keep breathing.

I honestly can't say whether or not I would have survived that long if I hadn't had all those lives on my conscience. I pulled myself through all those years because I refused to be responsible for the death of another. I know my home situation was bad, but I knew there was worse. I was never beaten or marks of any kind. They would have to be explained away to the neighbors and the perfect Dursleys refused to do anything that drew attention. How was I to know that the kind of neglect I felt, never knowing love or a kind touch could be just as damaging to a child as if they had been hit over the head?

When I stopped having a purpose to the wizarding world they stopped giving me the reason I live. I can never explain it well writing like this, here is one of my old poems from the first time I ever picked up a quill and put it to parchment.

I Want To Die

I sit here thinking

The future should be bright

But for me its

Dark, dank, dull, and deadly

I want to die

I just want the pain

To disappear from me

So I can rest in piece

But even death is too good for me

Please why wont the reaper take me

I am left here to suffer

Why do the innocent die

And the guilty live

I just want it all to end

To rip a blade through

The tender flesh of me

Watch the crimson blood

Well up from within

Spill over the edge

Feel the cold creep in

Let my limbs go stiff

And drift off

Now you see the problem

I don't care if I live

I want to die

Not very eloquent I know but it describes my feelings from then. I just didn't really care if I were to go on, but I actually wanted life to end. I was just lucky the last bit of cowardice left in me from the defeat of Voldemort made it so I didn't take immediate action.

I lived with a very tenuous grasp on life. I began picking up a quill more and more often leaving my potions knives in their case where they belonged.

I hated how my life had turned out but wasn't doing much to change it. I was falling and a large part of me didn't realize it. I remember very clearly the day it hit me that my life was spiraling out of control.

It was the date of my graduation from Hogwarts. I looked around me at my excited classmates who were ready to pounce upon a whole new world that had just opened its doors to them. I saw their exuberant faces and carefree smiles, after all they were going out into a Dark lord free world. They didn't have to worry about marrying and raising a family in the shadow of darkness.

It was that moment that told me explicitly I was no longer a part of them. I was an outsider. The warrior they had used and then patted on the head like a good watch dog then leaving the dog outside in the snow. I was numb to the feelings crossing their faces. I felt nothing from my on graduation and realized I didn't want the life I had been living recently. Then and there I wrote this poem.

Warrior

I am a warrior

A strong fighter

Yet I cannot beat this enemy

The pain inside me

Screaming out to be acknowledged

Crimson streams of life blood

Greet this perilous erg

So strong a feeling

I haven't a prayer of overcoming

I fight the feeling

Even if I lose

Everyday a new beginning

The mark of a fresh battle

With every breath

I battle my demons

The times I win are overshadowed by the losses

Yet the battles continue within me

A battle I am not sure how to fight

I dream of redemption

I live a life of scorn and shame

I am consumed by my battle

But no one notices

Until it is too late

After all who would care

I am just

The warrior

That summed up that point in my life.

Well I got my diploma that day and I started on the road to healing. At the celebratory party for the first time since the whispers had stopped I forced myself to be among the students again. I gave each of my friends some of the tightest hugs I will ever give to anyone. It doesn't seem like mush but to the boy who had grown up fearing touch believing it to only cause pain only reinforced by the pain felt as Voldemort touched me, receiving a hug from me was rare. Even rarer was me initiating the contact.

I have those people to thank for pulling me up out of the depths of my depression. Slowly I felt the emotions and feelings come back to me. It took years for even the slightest change to happen. In those years I grew older and hopefully wiser. Soon I had a purpose again. I was teaching, after graduation I had been given the Defense position at Hogwarts.

Finally it was only yesterday that one of my students, surprisingly a Slytherin, asked me a simple question. My sleaves had come up during the lesson showing the scars that had nothing to do with Voldemort and had everything to do with me. "Why do you keep those scars?" She asked. No one can even begin to understand why I don't cover them over with a glamour or get them treated by Poppy, but I can leave you with one last poem to try and answer that little girl's question and then I need to buy a new journal because alas I am on the final page.

Because No One Else Should

The scars on me

Are beacons of pain

A physical remnant

Of my troubled past

Even now while I fight

That consuming compulsion

I am branded by those scars

People can see them

Yet they don't see the reason

Why I carry them all

They find them grotesque

I guess they are but

They are a part of me

I will always carry these

Little reminders of time

They had better get used to scars

Hiding in the darkness

Is no life to live

So I will bare the scars of my past

With dignity and grace

That makes all the difference

Between who I was before

And who I am now

I bare the scars

Because no one else should

A/N I hope you enjoyed this newest installment of Oblivion about the life after the final battle. I wrote these poems when I wasn't in any shape to be thinking of fanfiction but when I finally got the guts to read them again these three fit so well together I just had to write this story.


	5. The Other Dark Side

The Other Dark Side 

Summary: We have all read stories where Harry goes Dark and joins Voldemort, or goes Gray and becomes a third power. This is the story of how Harry chose what side to fight on, and it is NOT cliché of that I promise.

Rating: T for angst and drama, Slash if you squint deep respect if you chose to see it that way.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and would never claim to, it all belongs to J.K. Rowling I am just playing with the world she created.

….

September First, every Hogwarts student's dream, right? Wrong, at least wrong for me. Oh, I used to be just like them. Hoping and dreaming for the day to come, the day I would be whisked away from my life of neglect and harassment to a world of magic.

Bollocks, I was a child then, and to tell the truth I'm not that much of an adult now. I have seen things and done things no child should know. I have memories that do not belong in the head of a child. But in my heart and in my mind I am still a child in so many ways. Anyway back to the point.

This September First would be different then all the others. You see the world I will be whisked away to will be expecting a hero. A wizard so powerful Merlin would quake in his shoes as I walked past. They wish upon me all these abilities and heritages that are not mine to possess. I am an adult in their eyes, and thus they expect me to live up to the media and hype. To prove to them my past was just a cover or a smokescreen hiding my true power.

It will be my duty to point out that I am not the hero everyone is looking for. I am just a boy who got very lucky when he was little. I am just like any other student. While, I now admit I might have a bit more power then the average wizard that means nothing in the grand scheme of things. I was a boy who was horrible at Potions passable in Transfiguration and decent in Charms. I hated Homework and loved Quidditch. I had admittedly slacked off so badly in my first six years of schooling that my power was a moot point I didn't know how to use it, what a waste that was.

I wanted to kill Voldemort, just like everyone expected, and I was angry at Dumbledore for everything he had put me through. I just wanted to break away from all of it,

But I couldn't.

I did not have the strength to do it alone. I did not have the courage to ask for help. I really didn't have a clue how to lead anyone. If I tried to do it on my own I would be signing my own Death Warrant and that of any one else that was deprived enough to follow me.

I needed to find another Master. One who had the strength, courage, and skill that I did not possess, someone that could teach me, harshly or not, how to use the power I had, someone that didn't want me for my fame or my scar, someone that chose me for me.

I wanted to give my loyalty freely and without worry that it would be abused. I needed to find the one person who could stand between two evils and come out all the stronger. I just wanted to be taken care of and maybe I can help in return.

That is why when I enter the hall this September First I will shock the world. I will hold my head high and defend my new Master to the point of death.

I have chosen the man who has hidden in the shadows.

The man who has survived his duties for longer then I have been alive.

The man whose allegiance has always only belonged to one being, himself.

The man who held my loyalty, and my strength.

The man whose name could strike fear into the hearts of every student at Hogwarts.

A true master like the others tried and failed to be.

A Master who has already saved my life more then he would care to admit.

My new Master is Severus Snape, Spy, Professor, Lord and Master. I am on his side and no others.

A/N Well what do you think? I know it is incredibly short but I had a new plot bunny viciously attack me, and I could not work on my others before writing this down. I currently have seven stories being written and until some of them are finished I can't start any new ones. This could morph into a full story if I get the time, but in the interim if anyone would like to write a story like this I would love to read it and if you know of one tell me so I can enjoy it!


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